I was going to sit down and resume viewing of Being Human when I realized, I could identify with this scene:
Preface: Adam is a known vampire to his family who have supported his hunger in secret.
Fast Forward: Adam is discovered by Nina and George, caught feeding off his dying dad. They take him home, hoping Mitchell can mentor the young vampire. Mitchell declines due to unnecessary bad influences a young vampire may present. As expected, Adam can deny his hunger and attempts to kill a young teen. His attempt is thwarted by Nina. Before leaving Nina, George and Mitchell, he is given advice by Mitchell to find people better than him.
End: Adam turns down an open invitation to feed on the same young girl, but declines, stating “No, this isn’t what I want. You’re not what I need.”
I just realized I had the same experience during my last debauchery. I had hired a prostitute for sex and drugs. While he was out making a run, I was contacting another prostitute for even more debauchery. When prostitute two arrived – during prostitute one’s absence – I was not keen to his vibe, immediately realized I was paying him to service him, stood up and told him to leave because this was not right. Yes, I paid him anyway.
In conjunction with my last psychology visit, I was emphasizing that I was reaching a point where I was not enjoying therapy anymore. My psychologist suggested decreasing our visits to bi-weekly and I immediately agreed. I also made it clear that I felt I had talked enough; I wanted action now to get better.
Having seen the ending of Being Human again, I see my progress. I am probably making the next step more complicated than it is. Logically, I just need to keep doing the same thing until Mr. Right comes along, though I’ll settle for Mr. Right Now also.